Effects of ACEs

What it is

Angry outbursts can show up in different ways:

Verbally: Shouting, name-calling, or criticizing

Physically: Hitting, throwing, or “taking it out” on people or things in your environment

Why it happens

Experiencing trauma in childhood can impact our bodies’ and brains’ development related to impulse control and how we regulate our emotions.

Being extra alert and responsive is a natural reaction to difficult experiences in childhood. But long after a threat has passed we might still feel on edge, even when others feel safe. We might react quickly and intensely, like getting very angry when faced with stressful situations.

What we can do

Being aware of what we’re experiencing and learning how to calm our nervous system can help change the way we respond. Here’s a technique that can calm ourselves when we feel an angry outburst coming on.

Box breathing

• Breathe in for a count of 4
• Hold your breath for a count of 4
• Breathe out for a count of 4
• Pause for a count of 4

What it is

Common patterns of negative thinking are: 

• Catastrophizing 
• All-or-nothing thinking 
• Predicting something is going to turn out negatively
• Blaming ourselves for things out of our control 

Why it happens

Negative thinking happens when our minds can’t move on from thoughts or worries. We can get stuck in a loop, making it difficult to focus on tasks or enjoy activities. 

Experiencing ACEs can impact how we think about ourselves, others, and the world.

What we can do

Being aware of what we’re experiencing and learning how to interrupt negative thinking cycles can help. 

When we notice ourselves stuck in negative thinking patterns, we can shift attention to our five senses to ground ourselves in the present moment.

One way to do this is to try the 5-4-3-2-1 Method.

Out loud or in your head, list:

• Five things you can see
• Four things you can touch
• Three things you can hear
• Two things you can smell
• One thing you can taste

What it is

Trust issues can show up in many ways, including: 

• Difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships
• Suspicions, skepticism, and difficulty trusting others’ intentions
• Controlling behaviors in a relationship
• Difficulty asking for help
• Fear of rejection
• Avoiding intimacy

Why it happens

Negative experiences with parents and caregivers — like not being able to rely on them — can affect our trust of others. It can be difficult to form close relationships if we didn’t feel supported when we were young, were always on edge, or were waiting for something bad to happen.

What we can do

To begin healing, we can explore our thoughts, feelings, and actions to help identify and understand the underlying beliefs, fears, and patterns contributing to our trust issues. 

Journaling can help us understand ourselves and our relationships.

Try these prompts:

• In what ways do I struggle to trust myself and others? What are some of the positive experiences I’ve had with trust in my life? How can I draw on those experiences to build more trust in my relationships?
• What are the risks and benefits of trusting others? How can I weigh those when deciding whether or not to trust someone?

What it is

Sleep problems can show up in different ways:

• Difficulty sleeping at night and feeling tired during the day
• Feeling awake and alert at times when you should be feeling tired
• Frequently waking up during sleep time

Why it happens

Growing up with stress or trauma can affect your body’s internal clock, which helps you regulate when you feel awake and when you feel tired. ACEs can also lead to an increase in brain activity, making it tough to sleep when you’re supposed to. And if you never got the hang of good sleep habits as a child, it could still be a struggle to sleep well now. 

What we can do

It’s never too late to start forming healthy sleep habits. Here is a tip that may help you sleep better: 

Don’t force sleep. If you find yourself tossing and turning for more than 20 minutes, it may be best to get out of bed and engage in a calming activity instead. This could be reading a book or listening to calming music. Avoid things that may be stimulating such as watching tv or using your cellphone. Go back to bed once you begin to feel tired again. 

What it is

People pleasing goes beyond simple kindness. It generally involves changing yourself to fit someone else’s expectations or avoiding conflict, even if it means hiding your true thoughts or feelings. This can look like: 

• Always saying yes
• Being quick to apologize
• Compromising your values
• Putting others before yourself
• Feeling guilty when you are angry at others
• Feeling responsible for other people’s reactions
• Reluctant to open up to others when you are struggling

Why it happens

Experiencing trauma can lead you to believe negative things about yourself, making you feel like your own feelings aren’t as important as others. Early negative experiences with parents and caregivers can shape how you see and handle relationships now. If you felt insecure in your childhood relationships, you might constantly worry about losing the people you care about now, leading to behaviors such as people-pleasing to ease that worry.  

What we can do

Journal on what truly matters to you and brings you joy. Write down the things you love doing without worrying about how they affect others. Consider what you desire in your relationships, career, and spirituality, and keep this list handy to remind yourself of your goals every day.

Take a pause

Are you finding it difficult to stick to those goals when someone asks you for something? Learning to say, “I have to think about that” can be helpful. Use this magic phrase to filter every request that comes your way. This gives you time to consider if it fits with what you want.

What it is

Eating problems can show up in a number of different ways such as: 

• Craving foods high in sugar, fat, and calories
• Using food to cope with difficult emotions or stressors
• Eating even when you’re full or not hungry
• Being very strict about what and how much you eat 
• Little to no appetite

Additional support may be needed if problems with eating …

• Happen frequently
• Feel out of control
• Become the primary way to deal with stress
• Cause other problems, whether physically or emotionally

Why it happens

Struggling with eating problems isn’t just about self-control. Different types of stress can have a wide range of impacts on appetite:

• Experiencing elevated levels of stress for long periods, such as toxic stress, may lead to raised levels of cortisol which can cause cravings, particularly for foods high in sugar, fat, and calories.
• Highly stressful situations can also cause your body to release the hormone adrenaline, which leads to a suppressed appetite.
• Early life stressors, such as ACEs, may impact the reward processing center in our brains and may be linked to disordered eating. 
• Stress can also impact the balance of your gut microbiome, making you crave unhealthy foods even more.

What we can do

Boost Your Gut Microbiome 

There are actionable steps you can take to support and enhance your gut health which can contribute to a decrease in cravings, better digestion, stronger immunity, and improved mood, these include: 

• Increase fiber intake with fruits, veggies, and fermented foods like yogurt or kimchi.
• Add probiotic rich foods to your diet like kefir, kombucha, and sauerkraut.
• Drink plenty of water to aid digestion and keep your gut flora thriving.
• Fuel your good gut bacteria with foods like garlic, onions, and bananas.