Effects of ACEs

What it is

Anger outbursts can show up in different ways:

Verbally: Shouting, name-calling, or criticizing

Physically: Hitting, throwing, or “taking it out” on people or things in your environment

Why it happens

Experiencing trauma in childhood can impact our bodies’ and brains’ development related to impulse control and how we regulate our emotions.

Being extra alert and responsive is a natural reaction to difficult experiences in childhood. But long after a threat has passed we might still feel on edge, even when others feel safe. We might react quickly and intensely, like getting very angry when faced with stressful situations.

What we can do

Being aware of what we’re experiencing and learning how to calm our nervous system can help change the way we respond. Here’s a technique that can calm ourselves when we feel an angry outburst coming on.

Box breathing

• Breathe in for a count of 4
• Hold your breath for a count of 4
• Breathe out for a count of 4
• Pause for a count of 4

What it is

Common patterns of negative thinking are: 

• Catastrophizing 
• All-or-nothing thinking 
• Predicting something is going to turn out negatively
• Blaming ourselves for things out of our control 

Why it happens

Negative thinking happens when our minds can’t move on from thoughts or worries. We can get stuck in a loop, making it difficult to focus on tasks or enjoy activities. 

Experiencing ACEs can impact how we think about ourselves, others, and the world.

What we can do

Being aware of what we’re experiencing and learning how to interrupt negative thinking cycles can help. 

When we notice ourselves stuck in negative thinking patterns, we can shift attention to our five senses to ground ourselves in the present moment.

One way to do this is to try the 5-4-3-2-1 Method.

Out loud or in your head, list:

• Five things you can see
• Four things you can touch
• Three things you can hear
• Two things you can smell
• One thing you can taste

What it is

Trust issues can show up in many ways, including: 

• Difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships
• Suspicions, skepticism, and difficulty trusting others’ intentions
• Controlling behaviors in a relationship
• Difficulty asking for help
• Fear of rejection
• Avoiding intimacy

Why it happens

Negative experiences with parents and caregivers — like not being able to rely on them — can affect our trust of others. It can be difficult to form close relationships if we didn’t feel supported when we were young, were always on edge, or were waiting for something bad to happen.

What we can do

To begin healing, we can explore our thoughts, feelings, and actions to help identify and understand the underlying beliefs, fears, and patterns contributing to our trust issues. 

Journaling can help us understand ourselves and our relationships.

Try these prompts:

• In what ways do I struggle to trust myself and others? What are some of the positive experiences I’ve had with trust in my life? How can I draw on those experiences to build more trust in my relationships?
• What are the risks and benefits of trusting others? How can I weigh those when deciding whether or not to trust someone?