Sarah - Live Beyond

Caregiver Role

How would you describe your role as a parent/caregiver? (e.g., primary caregiver, co-parent, mentor, grandparent, foster parent)

Primary caregiver

How many children do you care for, or what young people do you support or mentor?

Four of my own plus my eldest’s girlfriend and grandchild.

What is the age range of your child(ren)?

5, 14, 16, 18

What are some of the biggest challenges you face in this role?

Getting the children to understand that I’m just trying to help.

What aspects of your own childhood experiences do you find influencing your parenting/caregiving style today?

I didn’t have parents that were very active in my life because of work or other personal reasons. So I try to make sure I’m very active and show up for my kids.

Coping Mechanisms

How do you cope with stress or difficult situations?

Sometimes it’s very difficult but I try to do activities I enjoy. Some of which are crocheting, art, gaming, listening to music, or sitting in my car for a bit where it’s quiet.

What strategies do you use to support your child(ren) or young people in your life through difficult times or stressful situations?

I try to be as supportive as I can be. I try to listen without giving any judgment. If asked I try to give opinion or examples of things they could do to cope or deal with the situation.

In what ways do you seek support or resources to help navigate parenting/caregiving challenges?

I’ve been to parenting classes, asked other parents, done research online, or asked professionals for help.

Have you received professional help or counseling for any challenges you've faced? How or why did that help?

Yes. I’ve gotten counseling for my children during challenging times. I’ve got counseling for myself during challenging times. I feel like counselors are taught how to deal with situations in many different ways and it helps because one way won’t always work for everyone.

Building a Supportive Relationship

How do you create a safe and nurturing environment at home for your child?

I have an open door policy. My children know that if anytime they need to talk about something they only have to come in and tell me Mom I need to talk. Then I stop when I’m doing, if I can, and listen to them.

How do you encourage open communication with your child about their feelings and experiences?

I listen and never tell them that their ideas are stupid. I try to validate what they’re feeling and find out what we can do to help them feel better if they need it or figure out what we can do to help in the situation.

In what ways do you prioritize self-care to ensure you can better support your child?

Honestly I’m working very hard at prioritizing self-care. As a mom it’s hard to put myself before my children. I do do many self-care things though.

Have you found any specific activities or routines that have been helpful in promoting your child's healing and resilience?

I think specifically what has helped my household the best is just having open conversations where they’re not interrupted and they get the chance to express themselves.

What advice would you give to other parents/caregivers who may be facing similar challenges in helping their children heal from ACEs?

Not to be afraid to ask for help. You’re not expected to have all the answers.

How do you foster a sense of hope and optimism for your child's future despite past challenges?

I hope that I’m raising my children to have better coping skills then I had growing up. I hope that they always know they can come to me and I’ll do my best to help.